By Danny Fullbrook, BBC News, Hertfordshire
Race Across the World winner Alfie Watts has reflected on how people close to him dealt with his grief after the death of his mother.
The St Albans TV star has been appointed an ambassador for Winston’s Wish, a Gloucester-based charity that helps young people cope with loss.
During the BBC hit show, the 21-year-old spoke about how he was affected by the death of his mother, Karen, from breast cancer when he was five years old.
Now Watts wants to use his experience to help others – and recalled how he did not like it when those around him made him feel as if he was “wrapped in cotton wool”.
He said: “It works for some people, but I don’t like to be in this bubble where I’m protected.
“If I’m gonna get anywhere, then I need at some point to find the funny side or move on from it, not everybody is going to want to deal with it like that.”
“I could not possibly air some of the jokes that me and my friends make about this whole situation.
“I actually take solace in the fact that I’m now comfortable enough with my friends that they can make a joke about it.”
Watts is hoping by working with Winston’s Wish he can highlight how people deal with grief differently.
He explained how, when he was growing up, people avoided referencing his mother, which sometimes made him feel like he was treated differently.
He recalled: “In a school environment, everybody is joking about people’s mums and things like that.
“I used to be part of those conversations and then somebody would say ‘swear on your mum’s life’ and then they’d get really defensive and be like ‘I’m so sorry’.
“That almost felt worse in a way, because it’s like, ‘no, I still want to be part of this conversation’.
“This nonsense thing became quite a serious thing just because of someone slipping up. It doesn’t need to be like that.”
Watt’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after he was born. She died in December 2008.
During Race Across the World, in the Vietnamese city of Hoi, he lit a lantern in her memory and spoke about how much he missed her.
It was seen by 5.8 million viewers and the episode became the fourth most-watched programme on British television that week.
Watts said: “I think part of part of the stigma is that I think people think there’s a flat way to deal with grief, whereas everyone deals with it differently,
“I think boys deal with it a lot differently than girls, just because of the way that we’re kind of brought up to process our emotions and things like that. So I kind of wanted to a be a male role model.”
He added he had a unique fundraising plan and was excited to meet and listen to as many people as possible who were dealing with bereavement.
A spokesperson for Winston’s Wish said: “As someone who has experienced bereavement first hand, we know that Alfie is a passionate voice and a grief advocate for those who are coping with bereavement.”